The Dilemma

Hey u guys!!

I feel a bit confuse la with myself..to be specific, my own feelings..hah!!I know it sounds a bit cliche but to tell the truth I'm in a real dilemma here.. =(

Okay, let's start with my mother.

My mom is the type of woman who we can categorize as a bit choosy over her son-in-law. Of course she is because she only has 3 daughters maaaa!!hehe..My 2 sisters have already married and look at them now, blissfully married with the cutest lil tots in the world (amil, hani, aja, amnee and amnee's brother-on-the-way)..Life will be meaningless without them all.. I just lurrrrve my tots, i mean my nieces n nephews.hehe!! When I was still small and in my teenage years, I always thought that my mother is soo cool with her daughters' choices of husband. My eldest sister (Kak Long the beauty queen...hehe!!) was married to her beau, Abg Mie and my second sister (Kakak Ngok Ngek..hehe =)) was happily wedded to Abg Mat, her beau back then during university..As u see, both of them married the guy that they love... My parents both adore my brother-in-laws especially Abg Mat because they said Abg Mat knows how to respect the elders and that he's soo kind to everyone. I must admit that Abg Mat is super and uber nice guy because he cares for me too. Ever since I came to live with him and kakak in Subang Bestari, he treats me like I'm his own sister..He's very protective as well. Everything about Abg Mat is a total yes for my parents. On the other hand, my other brother-in-law, Abg Mie is nice too. He's not a fussy guy and quite generous in his personality but I don't know why my parents like to worship Abg Mat so much. I mean, he's not perfect.. He's a bad tempered either. Plus moody and he'll marah2 tak tentu pasal especially when he's under pressure.

However, when I reach the age suitable for marriage, my parents kinda harsh towards my choices of husband. If you guys wanna know, I only have 2 boyfriends ever since I started to have feelings for guys. hehe!! Funny rite.. I mean, I don't know how to flirt..I do friend with guys but I have my own principle that I will never date my friend especially my best friend..When I was in Form Five, I fell in love for the first time. My parents opposed the idea that I get involved in a love relationship during school days. Plus, that year was my SPM year. But, as you see, LOVE IS BLIND. I ignored my parents' advice and as a result, I failed to get straight As for my SPM, only managed to obtain 6As 5Bs.. My father was really disappointed with me that he didn't talk to me for a few days..He expected me to score straight As because I was considered a bright student back then (sorry, bukan nak perasan just nak bitau jek!!hehe ). In the mid of 2003, I broke up with the bloke that I dated during school. He was my first love and I loved him soo much. We were very much into each other and we even vowed to stay together until we were finally seated on the dais..Things didn't went well for both of us. Even though I love him so much, my mother doesn't like him because she labelled him as "Mamat Tali Pinggang Besi". The guy actually a 'busuk' type..my type but my mum doesn't approve him. She likes a clean and decent guy. Aiyo, where to find such a perfect guy?? My mum then asked me to dump him and so I did. I pitied that guy because he was soo devastated when I said that I wanna break up with him and he even cried! After the break up, I thought that I was never gonna get over him. It took me like 4 to 5 years to open my heart again until one day I found my second boyfriend by the name of Zaki. I fell head over heels for him. He was a Mr. Nice Guy. I also thought that I'm gonna end up marrying him. However, thins went sour between us because after that I found out that he cheated behind my back and the worst, he dumped me for the other girl.. My mum, as usual, feels so euphoric about me being dumped by Zaki because she doesn't even like him too..Reasons?? First, he was just a teacher and she said he doesn't suit me because I am in a higher position than him. Me being a lawyer and him being a teacher. Second, he was fat and not handsome my mum hates fat men. She even called him names like "BOCEH" (a name in Kelantan language that refers to a flabby man).. Apart from being dumped by that SUPER DUMBO BOCEH GUY, I realized that it will be soo hard for me to satisfy my mum's taste in choosing her youngest son-in-law. I feel fed up with my mum's attitude of rejecting everyone that I like and love. My father, on the other hand, is a universal one. He said that he'll accept anyone that I like and he'll only need to marry me off.. Awww...I love u Papa!!

After the break up, I was still thinking about the Dumbo guy. I just cannot get over it until I found another guy by the name of Andy. After a few months knowing him, I found myself falling in love with him. However, it doesn't went well either because this time around, my sister is the one who opposed to my relationship with the guy. Btw, I forgot to mention that Andy is her collegue at HLTMT. So, at last, me and Andy has decided that we will just stay as friends.

Now, I'm still a single babe who's life is soo miserable with her 9-5 job, mountain-high files that need her attention, her weight dilemma (I'm overweight if u wanna know but not that super duper heavy in weight), her uber fussy mum, her sister who watches wherever that she went and a pocketful of other stuff that may spin her head until it went of her.. Pity me kan??

As usual, my mum will be 'bising' if she heard that her friend's daughter will get married soon. She will be like:

"cepat la cari boyfren, anak **** tu dah nak kawen dah, or anak *** dah nak kawen, jee tak de boyfren lagi ke??"

Everytime I called her, she will keep asking me the same old question yang buat I dah fed up tahap gaban and tunggu masa jer nak burst out ni.. Huhuhuhu =(

Aiyoo...u guys sure think that my life soo tak best kan..When it comes to me jek, everything is difficult.. Dah jodoh x sampai lagi nak buat camne?? Takkan la I nak pegi bitau sume orang yang I ni single and in dire need of a boyfren?? Soo ridiculous. Sure orang akan will be like:

"Tak betul ke budak ni?? Muka waras tapi.... Anak sape la ni???"

Hehehe =)

Whatever it is, wherever the lucky guy is, I just dah tak kisah sangat pon.. I'm still young, free and euphoric. There is so much time lagi for me. I hope, when I found my Mr. Charming nanti, my mum will satisfied and she will stop controlling me of with whom I should be with.

So, guys, do help me pray okay..

Toodles..