4 Wonderful Years

Alhamdulillah harini genap 4 tahun usia perkahwinan saya dan suami. 

Thank you for the wonderful adventure, Hubster. I hope to have many more years of great adventure ahead, joy, happiness and neverending life's good things. Thank you for patiently keeping up with my tantrums, whims and fancies. Even though, there be rough rides for us throughout the 4 years but I'm glad we've made it through.

Syukur juga di atas kurniaan Allah paling tidak ternilai pada kami berdua. Alhamdulillah I am now 2 months pregnant! Syukur syukur syukur yang tak terhingga. Akhirnya Allah makbulkan doa kami setelah 4 tahun menunggu dengan sabar. Allah Maha Besar, saya berjaya mengandung naturally. I have stopped treatment with Dr.Adilah snce October last year and in March I embarked on healthy diet and lifestyle which ended up me losing 8 kgs. In April I went to a homeopathy centre in Kelana Jaya (read about it from fellow blogger, Yannie of Idreamoflittlebunnies). Alhamdulillah on 27 May 2014, I was confirmed pregnant. I will share about that homeopathy centre in my next post ya!

Happy Anniversary, Hubster! I love you endlessly till Jannah :)

Doakan semoga Allah permudahkan segalanya untuk kami berdua dan semoga Baby saya sihat dan selamat dilahirkan kelak.

Insya Allah :)

Operation Theatre

Hello lovelies

It's been a while now since I last blogged. I miss my blog tho but you know-lah when the M word strikes, everything is not doable.

Remember I told you last time that I am having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)? Well, you can read it HERE. My gynea suggested for me to undergo a surgery to clear the PCOS and to increase the chance of getting pregnant but I insisted on doing it the natural way i.e taking hormones medicines such as Duphaston and Clomid as well as visiting the gynea regularly. After 2 months of trying, the result was disappointing. So, I made up my mind to go with the surgery. This is where the sacrifice was made.

The date was set to be on the 19th of April 2013, on a Friday afternoon at 2.00pm. I was admitted on the same day of the surgery, about 10.00am. Around 1.30pm, after wearing the surgery gown, I was sent to the OT room. Tuhan saja yang tau betapa takutnya saya waktu itu. Mama pesan suruh baca surah Al-Masad byk2 sebab Mama cakap surah ni boleh kurangkan rasa sakit lepas surgery. Pastu selawat byk2. I did!

Keadaan OT room teramatlah sejuk. Macam duduk dalam igloo. Propa kan? padahal tak penah pegi pon semenjak hidup ni. Dahla sampai dalam, surgery gown kena bukak. Just a piece of blanket on top my body. Sejuk! Brrrrr!!!

I was greeted by a bunch of nurses and soon the anesthetician, Dr. Nazri followed by my gynea. Dr. Nazri buat keje cepat. Sambil dia nak cucuk vain, sambil bincang pasal politic. Ngeri betul lah. Mana tau tersalah cucuk vain mau pengsan x payah pakai ubat bius. Tapi dah namanya pakar, so he did what he does best. Sekejap je rasa jarum menusuk. Ouchhh! Then the nurse bagi oxygen mask with the ubat bius lah. Dalam 3 kali sedut kot dah kiok. Tau2 nurse dah kejut panggil my name. Time tu mcm lali2, ingat tak ingat and still macam weng. Habis operation dalam pukul 5.00pm and I was down until 9.30pm. Barulah boleh bukak mata and I saw  Hubster by my side with a bouquet of flowers! Auwwwww... 

That night, I threw up about 2 or 3 times. It was the aftermath of the ubat bius. Nasib baik the day before I fasted. So takdela madam keluar macam2. Alhamdulillah, the pain was manageable and there were 3 holes on my stomach. My gynea, Dr.Adilah came to explain the next day. She said the right tube was blocked and the hole was too small. Memang tersumbat betul. Serviks cantik, in good condition. The left ovary is a bit far behind tapi it's not an uncommon thing. So what they did was, they clear the tube, followed by ovarian drilling to clear the PCOS. Dr. Adilah said, lepas test cecair biru dibuat, both tubes now in good condition. Alhamdulillah. 

Dr.Adilah also found out that usus saya melekat ke dinding. They tried to buang lekatan tu masa surgery tapi halfway through there was bleeding so they stopped. She advised me to watch over my food intake and also my sleeping position, kena mengiring ke kanan.

Today I went to see her at the hospital for Post-Operation Review. I asked her the cause of the colon problem. She said that it might be because of the bacterial infection, which blocked the right tube. Dia kacau la usus tu jadi sampai terlekat sedemikian rupa. Nasib baik sedar awal. Kalau tak, taktau ape jadi. So, she gave me few medicines, most of them antibiotics to cure the bacterial infection. The medications gave me drowsiness, dizziness and I tend to throw up a few times. 

I'm now on MC for 3 weeks or 22 days to be exact, from 19 April 2013 until 10 May 2013.

Alhamdulillah is the only word I keep on uttering, to show how gratitude I am to Allah for making this journey of mine so smooth and I have the best support system I could ever wished for. Mama, my family and especially my husband were with me all this time. Alhamdulillah too because I have the best company who paid all the medical bills. Tengok balik jumlah tu, memang saya tak mampu nak bayar.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Semoga segalanya dipermudahkan Allah di masa hadapan and semoga usaha dan doa kami dimakbulkan Allah. Insya Allah.

Nota Kaki : My gynea has her own BLOG. For those who would like to seek treatment with her, it is highly recommended. 

We Are 2 Years!

Tarikh 4 Jun adalah sangat bermakna bagi saya dan Hubster sebab itu adalah kami dapat pangkat baru. Bukan pangkat yang dapat kenaikan gaji ribu riban tetapi dapat pangkat sebagai SUAMI ISTERI. Atau dengan kata mudah, hari nikah kami. Sekejap je dah 2 tahun, rasa macam baru semalam kawen. Sepanjang 2 tahun bersama banyak pahit getir, jerih perih kami lalui bersama. Gaduh, belasah sambil tumbuk menumbuk itu biasa. OK itu sangat over. Tapi hakikatnya segalanya adalah asam garam berumah tangga. Diri sangat untung sebab dapat suami yang sgt memahami dan suka memanjakan. Saya tahu suami saya tak handsome tapi yang saya tahu hati dia sangat handsome. Suami saya seorang yang panas baran tetapi amat mudah tersentuh bila lihat saya menangis. Siapa tahu dalam hati beliau ada taman permainan bunga :)

Sepanjang 730 hari hidup bersama (gigih tak saya kira hari??), tinggal sebumbung, kerja di organisasi yang sama, banyak perkara yang telah kami kongsi bersama. Paling saya suka, setiap malam mesti ade pillow talk. Sesi luahan perasaan. Gaduh, merajuk kemudian berbaik kembali adalah perkara biasa. Hubster begitu sabar melayan kerenah saya yang kadangkala menjengkelkan ini. Ya, itu kenyataan dan memang tidak dapat disangkal lagi. 

Bercerita mengenai tarikh 4 Jun iaitu Anniversary kami, Hubster sudah awal bagitau tiada big celebration. Mahu sambut tatkala percutian kami nanti. Di mana? Biarlah rahsia. Sampai masa akan saya blog ia di sini. Tahun ini juga tiada hadiah istimewa dari Hubster. Itu saya akur kerana saya tau Hubster sudah habis ribuan ringgit bayar deposit pondok buruk rumah baru kami nanti. Saya tidak mengharap sebarang hadiah, hanya mahu disayangi dan dicintai Hubster sehingga hujung nyawa. But Hubster is being Hubster. Mungkin dia tau naluri wanita pasti ingin sesuatu. Sudahnya, janji mahu beli Kitchen Aid tetapi terpaksa delay. And so I said OK! Sanggup tunggu kerana terlalu mahukan KA. Jangan tak tahu, baking list mmg berjela, tunggu masa sahaja untuk direalisasikan :)

Hari yang ditunggu tiba jua. Pagi2 Hubster sudah bangun dan ucap "Happy Anniversary, Sayang" sambil memeluk erat dan cium kedua2 belah pipi (tempat lain usah tanya nanti blog jadi x-rated. hehe). Bukan mahu membuat anda semua jealous tetapi mahu anda semua tahu bahawa suami saya seorang yang penyayang dan romantik. Setiap hari tidak pernah jemu cakap "I love U". 

Lepas waktu kerja, Hubster jemput macam biasa. Dalam perjalanan, Hubster cakap mahu belanja makan sempena Anniversary. Yes, saya suka. Terus discuss mana nak pegi. Bincang punya bincang terus dapat idea mahu ke Alexis. Niat di hati hanya mahu makan Pavlova tetapi alang2 sampai, makan sana terus. Tengok menu dan harga memang meruntun jiwa. Tetapi Hubster cakap usah risau harga, pesan sahaja. Maka terus lah saya mempraktikkan teknik scanning yang dipelajari di course speed reading dahulu. So I decided to order Quiche sebab teringatkan quiche Delicious yang sedap dan gemuk itu. Hubster pula order Chicken something2. Nama pelik, so mudah lupa. The ambiance at Alexis is cozy and the decor is so nice. Tempat agak privasi, amat sesuai untuk duduk bersantai sambil sesi luahan hati ke hati.heehe. Service that nite was ok. Hanya 15 minit sahaja perlu menunggu sehingga makanan tiba.

Sampai hidangan, saya agak tergamam. Melihatkan quiche hanya sebesar tudung tupperware bulat dengan ketinggian hanya setengah ruas jari. Selebihnya adalah salad hijau dan cherry tomato. The pastry agak sedap cuma saya kurang suka filling yang sikit dan dipenuhi dengan caramelized onion yang masam. Ternyata bukan taste saya. Begitu juga Hubster's meal. Ayam yang dipesan bak ayam chicken chop tanpa gravy yang dihidang bersama salad avocado. A totally off meal for both of us. The only thing yang kami suka hanyalah pavlova. Sangat sedap. Tapi Hubster cakap pavlova air tangan saya lagi sedap. hehe. So overall, Alexis memang out of our list. 

Sekian sahaja cerita sambutan ulangtahun perkahwinan kami. Harap perkahwinan yang dibina diberkati dan dirahmati Allah SWT sehingga ke akhir nanti. Insya Allah. Oklah, rasa macam dah melalut panjang lebar, so jom enjoy gambar makan-makan di Alexis :)

Hubster's Chocolate Milkshake

Mine : Cranberry-Raspberry Soda

Quiche yang dimaksudkan

Chicken something2

Senyum sebelum hidangan sampai

Makan sambil membebel

Pavlova yang maha sedap! oh teringat!

Muka tak sabar :) *peace*

Ini suami kecintaan saya :)

Kami sudah 2 tahun yeay!

Gila-Gila Remaja

Setiap orang pasti ade sifat gila-gila dalam diri memasing. Begitu juga saya. Menjadi lumrah suka bergambar. Bukan saja mau nampak cantik di depan camera tapi juga gemar pose ambik gambar sambil syok sendiri dengan macam-macam aksi sukahati. Sang suami juga layan bila isteri datang mood gila-gila remaja. Ahaha..kami ada sifat gila-gila tapi yang pasti kami bukan gila.

OKthanksbye!

Spending Quality Time With Encik Suami

I love spending time with my one and only Encik Suami. We normally go out on Saturday and on Sunday malas nak kuar cos tak nak letih since esok tu nak keje..hehehe..soo typical me!

Actually, the initial plan was to spend the Saturday with my office besties, going for food hunting but due to unavailability of one of our friends, then the plan has to be cancelled and to be rescheduled later. So, Encik Suami suggested that we both carry on with our own plan. Spending our own sweet time together. So we started with breakfast. I got to pick the place where I wanna eat so I chose Village Park Restaurant at Uptown Damansara. I went there a few times already and I really like the nasi lemak. Kiranya so far nasi lemak Gembira kat Shah Alam tu pon kalah...hehe. Bila kitorang sampai jer, dah nampak orang tengah beratuh panjang. Encik Suami dah menunjukkan rupa beliau yang agak kelat-kelat masam dah and I definitely knew the sign! Beliau sangat tidak suke menunggu / beratur panjang. Usually I am the one who do the queuing up but today beliau sangatlah baik hati dengan menyuruh saya yang pergi chop tempat. Lucky we managed to secure a place for us to eat. Alamak, lupa nak tangkap gambar nasi lemak tu lah. Sorry ek!

Then lepas tu we all shoot to OU to watch the most recent talked about film, REAL STEEL. Yeah you heard me...REAL STEEEELL babeh! I've heard so many reviews actually about this movie. Kat mana lagi kalo bukan di laman mukabuku and also twitter. I've also seen the trailer like months ago and Encik Suami really2 anticipated the movie. For me, the reason why I nak sangat tengok is because ada Hugh Jackman aka Encik Wolverine aka Charlie Keaton. *drool*... Despite the super oh-some trailer, the movie proved to be really good..i mean great! It was super-double-duper awesome! Seriously, if I were to give a rating, I would rate 4.5 / 5.0! A must watch movie!

Later after movie, Encik Suami and I decided to go out lunch and this time he got to pick the place. And so he chose Al-Rawsha. I haven't been to Al-Rawsha for quite a while and since dia dah moved to Pandan, I never got the chance to go. Encik Suami memang dah lama sangat mengidam so today dapatlah rasa the famous Chicken Mandy.

Encik Suami ordered Chicken Mandy and Pepsi while I ordered Istanbul Kebab and Nepolean. Talking about Chicken Mandy, the rice portion is still banyak but the chicken is smaller even though 1/2 chicken. Istanbul Kebab plak is actually meat kebab, wrapped in tortilla together with grilled green chilli served with sour cream. The taste is marbeless I tell yooouuuu!! Encik Suami memang suka tp disebabkan portian dia cam besar semacam, I didn't finish it but Encik Suami did! Dia plak tak habis nasik dia & I boleh rasa jgk. Ala2 sistem barter gitu.hehe. Napolean plak is a drink, a combination of strawberry & mango. Taste quite OK but it's too thick. On top of Napolean dia letak whipped cream and slices of strawberries. Memang agak tak kedekut kalo tengok whipped cream dia. Super thick tapi I don't really fancy it cos rasa coffee. Memang tak leh masuk! Ergghh! OKlah, tak nak ckp panjang2, let the pictures do the talking...:)

Could It Be That Bad?

Encik Suami laughed his ass off when looking at this picture...*frown*

Wedding Doodles 101

It seems that the wedding bell is already ringing ding-dong for me... Both Mr. Fiance and I had agreed to have our Big Day ceremony in the month of June. The solemnization ceremony will be on the night of 4th June (Friday) while the reception (bride's side) will be on 5th June 2010.

Why these days time seems to fly so fast? As at today, it's gonna be exactly 1 month till my wedding day. Sometime it makes me cringe thinking that The Day is getting nearer and nearer. It's not that I haven't prepared anything but it's just this feeling inside me... My colleagues said it's normal... Bride-to-be syndrome they may say..hehe..

I am actually looking forward to my Big Day but at the same time I am nervous too... I just can't believe that in 1 month's time I am no longer a single lady... I will have a bigger responsibility and of course someone to take care of.. I'm gonna a WIFE! :) I am so glad that I'm gonna marry HIM at last. Being with him will always put a smile on my face. With his silly jokes & stuff, I feel blessed. He always loves me for who I am, never complains about my weight when I gained some, about my ugly face when I had no make-up on.. He's such a loving partner who never fails to tell me that he loves me... I love you too, Sayang.

Hmmm... about the wedding preparation, as for now, everything's under control. I had all my pelamin, caterer and photographer booked. My wedding favours are all set and one thing that left unsettled is my invitation cards. I have listed all my guests for the Day and have them listed down but I have yet to print them out and get it glued on the envelope, as well as posted it to them. Kind of malas to cut, glue and stamp tp walau macam mana pon, kena buat jugak kan.. huhuhu. I plan to get it done by this week so that I can straight away posted and for the ones nearer, I can immediately go and give them straught. Insya Allah, if everything's OK and according to the plan, I will complete it as soon as possible.

Teehee...mcm dah lama je kan tak update blog? Yeah, I was super busy lately and haven't got the right time to doodle here... Btw, gotta run now. Catch u later, guys with more wedding doodles... :)

Taaaa!!

The Beginning of The Other

Hey All,

Happy New Yeaaaarrr 2010!!!! So, what's your plan / goal for this year?? Mine is always the same every year and I guess it's still the same for this year. I think it won't change until I achieved what I wanna achieve..haha! Since dah masuk tahun baru ni, rasa berdebar-debar la plak. Sebabnya...I'm getting married!!! OMG! Macam tak caya jer dah nak kawen. Oh oh oh!! By the way, I haven't post anything on my Engagement Day. I was busy the whole month of December. So many applications coming in and piling up my tray. So, xde la masa nak meng'update' blog ni..

Talking about my E-Day, it was such a remarkable event for me. I never knew that I could find someone like him. Someone by the name of Wan Mohd Shahril Wan Mohammad. I bet every woman in this world would dream of having the best man whom they wanna spend their entire life with, to grow old together and to cherish every moments together. Some might say that it's just a Cinderella story but for me, I believe in true love, a never ending happiness... God finally heard me this time and I finally found my knight in shining armour (soo jiwang okayyy!!). I had enough of continuous episodes of dramas, tears and heart-broken stories. I want to start new and hopefully this year will bring me never ending happiness that I prayed for... Insya Allah.

Back to the E-Day update, (melalut la plak tadi, berjiwang-jiwangan. lol!) the entire event went well and Alhamdulillah I am now someone's fiancee. There are soo much for me to story-mory here about the whole event but I kinda malas to type it out. hehe. Bottom line, it was such a memorable moment for me. Why don't we let the pictures do all the talking?? Pictures worth a thousand words, right guys? So here are some captured by my photographer, Fazi by Fazi Artwork... Enjoy!

Eat Air For Lunch..Yummy!

Emmm...dah lama macam tak tulis pape kat blog ni..huhu. by the way just to tell you guys one funny story today...

Encik Tunang telah dengan rela hati nya called pepagi nak ajak me to eat lunch with him... I thought he has something going on at KL Sentral (Maxis's office) since he normally has meetings there. It turns ou that he wants to see me and eat lunch together-gether lah! sooo sweet of him, kan???hehe ;)... Actually, I already had plan with my colleagues to go eat at Lanai but I've to cancelled it. Kalo tak cancel itu Encik Tunang mau merajuk jugak lah...hehehe... So, I was sooo excited to see him and patiently waited for him to arrive here. Unfortunately, he came late!! Sila salahkan massive traffic jam in KL!! Dahla sampai lambat, then die plak pegi salah lobi..kena la pusing masuk dalam BNM balik...huhuhu..syiaaaann Encik Tunang.

Then off we went... The initial plan was to eat at Tupai-Tupai. Sekali Encik Tunang plak tak tau jalan...salah jalan seround... but you know la KL kan...Once salah jalan, bapak jauh nak U-Turn balik..last2, sambil2 masing2 dok bergaduh tu, we just went around KL, enjoying our moments together, just in the car! tak pegi makan pon...dahla dua2 pon lapar giler. Sian we all, kan?? huhuhu :(

We spent like 1 hour on the road plus all the massive jam...huhuhu.. Whatever it is pon kan, I still feel like something to be remembered with nanti... came to KL all the way to eat lunch with me but at last eat lunch jugak but the menu is ANGIN...this is what we call MAKAN ANGIN!!! burrrrppppp!!kenyang sudaaaaaaa!!!haha..Gotta pen down now.. Catch with u later guys!

New Chapter, New Beginning

Hey all,

Sorry for the late update from me.. You know la kan, end of the year ni memang always busy. Banyak gak new application for licence renewals, fees & charges issues plus end year PRIME time!! ( performance appraisal la babe!) Scary isn't it? Tapi walau ape pon, tak kisah la. Janji lepas untuk dapat bonus akhir tahun. Haha! At least I can save up for my wedding next year! Oopsie, did I say WEDDING? yeah babe! I really mean it this time. I'm getting engaged! OMG, feels like dreaming! Hmmm... speaking about this, I'm sure many of you are wondering whose the lucky guy I'm marrying kan? Just wait till the end of the post, okay? What? NR? Naw...not that guy laa.. He's now busy courting his long lost crush tu la. Sape lagi kalo bukan that Pimples Bitch who called me "Drama Queen" tu.. Urgh! What a taste!! haha.. sorry, no offence!

Anyway, I'm kinda excited about getting engaged actually. Yippeee!! I've done several preparations for my day such as booked the make-up, sent the dress to the tailor and booked the photographer. Moreover, last weekend I went to Jalan TAR with him to shop for songkok & butang baju melayu, working shirt & also his kain to be tailored for the engagement. Now, I realized that it's really tiring doing the preparation for the engagement / wedding. As for the dulang deco part, I've given the chores to Mama & Kakak cos they know best about these things. I gave the ideas & they will materialize it for me. Awesome, right?? hehe

Emmm... Tunang, tunang jugak but I haven't tell you all about the lucky guy whom I'm in love with, right? My one and only Encik Sayang... Here the story goes:

After that bad & dreadful experience with NR, I took my sister's & my friends' advice about going out and meet new people, be-friending everyone. So, one day, nak dijadikan cerita, my old schoolmate (Azhar Saffuan aka Jaha) called me out of the blue moon & invited me for lunch. So we went out to have a drink at JKR cafe right across the street from my office. Masa nak balik office tu si Jaha pon ade la ajak keluar ngan dia together with his friends. Nak tengok movie kata dia. So I said OK je la. That's not such a big deal, what? So, after office, him & his friends came to fetch me and then off we went to Midvalley. I still remember that night. We went to watch The Proposal & I totally had fun. Ye la, at least I have other things to do other than mourning after that stupid NR. But, at that time, I didn't know that everything that happened to me after NR was already written down as my fate. NR was a history now. Noktah. Dot. Period. No more him after this. If it weren't because of him, I won't be meeting Jaha and his friends. It was all fated!

Ok, back to our story. Emo plak tetiba. Haih! Jaha's friends were cool; Mar & Shahril. However, I think Mar is a bit quiet and my first impression towards her, she doesn't like me! But who cares, right? haha ;) And this guy, Shahril, was all I wanna tell you all about. I found him to be nice and funny. Really2 funny & I like him... hehe *wink* I thought that was the first & the last time we met. To my surprised, a few days after he called me during lunch just to invite me to join them for lunch. Since I've nothing to do, I immediately said OK. Lunch was great but tak banyak sangat la cakap ngan Shahril tu. Kata baru kenal... shy2 cat la babe! haha ;) Later, he started to text me saying typical "hai" and other stuff. Normal la tu kan. Nak mengayat. I never thought that he even interested in me because everytime we went out pon, he never set his eyes on me. As if I never existed and not so important to him... ;( When he texted me for the first time, I don't even had a feeling to reply. So I just let it be. I didn't even intend to make it happen, you know, me & him. Suddenly one day, tergerak la hati nak text dia balik.. Un'sangka'rable, not even 1 minute passed, he replied!! And I was like, wow! hehe ;) So, from that day onwards we started texting each other. Dah boleh jadi speed master dah sebab selalu sangat texting. Naik lenguh jari jemari. ;) He tried to call me for the first time & that was during midnight.. Memang silap besar lah babe. I can't compormise anything other than my beauty sleep. hahahahaha!! When I thought about it, feels pity him lah. He told me I frightened him cos when I spoke during my sleep, I sound fierce. hehe. Sorry!

Last Ramadhan, when his parents came to visit, he brought me to see them. I was so nervous like no other things in this world. How can I go and meet his parents when I don't even have any feelings towads him? Just a mere likeness. But I still went & to my surprise again, his parents like me soo much and that his father even bought me a BONIA handbag as a Raya gift. I was speechless! Don't even know what to say or what to react. He's really serious about us and during last Raya (2nd Raya) his parents came to my house to discuss about us. That was the decision I made to get engage with him, to marry him & then spend the rest of my life with him.

And that was the beginning of our story together... Right after that moment, God has bestowed upon me this strange feeling and it is called LOVE. I started to turn mere likeness to love and it really worked! He even said the same thing to me... Everyday, my love for him grows even stronger until now I feel like I couldn't live without him. Life without him is empty and the emptiness within feels like a deep cut that can't be healed by just putting a plaster on it... How hard for me to find a guy like him and now God has finally heard my prayer.. Thank you God for giving me such a wonderful guy and I'm grateful for that. No one can replace his place now cos he's just my one & only ENCIK SAYANG...

Sayang, I love you lots & lots & lots... mwah!!! ;))

Moving On

Hey all,

Ramadhan comes again to greet us all... Yipppeee!!! Banyak la dugaan2 di musim bulan pose ni...hahaha..and saya macam biasalah melayan nafsu nafsi membeli makanan secara x hengat dunia & last2 tong sampah jugak la untung..alahai.. so i think i should stop buying unnecessarily again...huhuhu..alahai..lapar la plak..oh tummyboi..pls stop growling..hahaha *wink*

Right now, at this hour, I'm sitting here in the office & melayan sangap sambil dengar Quran's recitals from Akma's PC... at least I feed my both ears with something beneficial...hehe

Shoot!! Serious boring.. nak pegi SOGO malas nak jalan.. kang balik jap gi ade yang merangkak masuk office ni.. ;))

By the way. I got a nice story to tell u all. Last weekend, I had a mental breakdown sket.. ni sume pasal that guy yang I citer kat my last post dulu. Remember?? Actually, this mental breakdown rotted from me jugak. Kalo i tak gatal tangan pegi bukak FB Bitchy Girl tu sure my life would be coulourful as always... Nak dikisahkan, I viewed the Bitch's FB this one fine morning. I think last Monday kot... then to my surprise, they talked about me!!!!! U guys sure wanna know how positive I am about this.. I am 100% sure it's me that they busy talking about.. ade ke refer me as a DRAMA QUEEN??? Shiiitttteeeeeeeee!!! I'm soo pissed off okayyy..then the whole day I became moody. Everyone takut nak cakap ngan I, hence tegur I. Serious shit I rasa merah padam telinga tahan marah..Oh God!! nasib I still lagi berpijak di bumi yang nyata lagi so I took the issue in the professional way... Lucky I have so many friends who has been supporting me all this while. Thank you my dear besties..love you soo much!!

Sometimes I wonder.. why he walked out from me?? Am I not good enough for him? My sisters kept on telling me that he is the one who doesn't deserve me. I don't know what are my flaws, yet my fault until he did this to me. I must admit I like him so much. At first it's really hard to live on his memories but soon after I realized I'll be a complete fool if I still live with his memories. Thus, I tried to move on. I see and meet new people. I tried to befriend everyone but I don't intend to get involved thsi time around. For me, I think I've had enough. I just want to live my life as it is now. I want to colour my every day & I want to enjoy every bits and pieces of my life that God has granted me. I am blessed with my loving family, friends and good career... oh..I love being myself. Now I feel I'm being cared by many. ^-^Woohoo!!!!

Predict the Unpredictable *sigh*

Hey peeps...

Goshhh... it has been awhile since i last posted my mumblings.. i was bz actually with the hectic work schedules.. doing policy work is a tough one and only the real survivor will not drown..ouch! that is deep..huhu but anyway, i'm just glad that i have the chance to write again..;)

During these past few months, many wonderful & unpredictable things happened to me. i don't intend to dictate all but just to highlight a few which i think put up much impact on my life.

Last month, on 10 July 2009, I've lost my one and only grandmother, MEK.. She is my mum's mother and she died due to natural cause i. e sakit tua. My grandma was kind and loving to all her grandchildren. Eventhough I was not so close to her before, her departure also saddened me and my whole family. May she rests in peace and semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan di tempat org2 yg beriman..amiiin..

Anyhow, life must go on, rite? Right now, I'm actually trying to "re-program" my state of mind.. I've been a bit "weng" for the past 2 weeks though..haha!! u guys must be wondering why, right? ok, here it goes...

Last March, I received a msg in my FB inbox from someone I never knew requesting to befriend me. After finding out who he is, I accepted his friendship. Since then, we started saying 'hi" & other stuff through FB. Later, when I had to go for my OBP, I left my phone number in case he wanted to contact me during my absence in the office. Normally, I never give my phone number to anyone whom i've never met but this time around, I don't know why I gave him my phone number. Emmm.. maybe I thought he looks like a nice person...haha! but looks can be deceiving, right?? heeee... I told him that I'm going to Singapore for a holiday..oh, oh, oh!! btw, I forgot to tell u guys that he's working in Singapore but he's local. so, he said he was willing to be my tourist guide there. And so I went to Spore with my dearest sister. During my 3 days stay, he came to see me everyday. He even picked me up at the airport & came to see me before I departed. Ever since that Spore trip, we became close and I never expected this to happen. We texted each other more often & he called me quite a number of times. To my surprise, he came all the way from Spore, driving, just to celebrate my birthday since she knew that week I was left alone as my sister went back to KB. I was touched by his kindness actually... ngeee!! u know kan, orang pompuan ni cepat cair sket kalo ade a guy begitu susah payah datang just to celebrate her birthday... so i ni pon salah sorg drpdnya la..haha!!

I've never been any happier in my life before I met him. My life was colourless ever since I've had that bad experience with Zaki... After I met him & spent a few times with him, I thought he was the right guy for me. Before this I even vowed to myself not to fall for a guy again & not to open my heart to any other guy after Zaki. With this guy, I feel comfortable with him. I like talking to him becos he will listen to me & share our stories together. When I talked to him, there will surely be a topic / topics that we can talk about. I never felt clueless with him. I felt so happy and content with my life until that very day when he suddenly ripped my happiness off me...:((

After 2 months of friendship and went through the process of knowing each other, he suddenly put a stop to 'us'.. With that single sms, all the happiness that I built for the past few months suddenly shattered into pieces.. I still remember every words from the sms that he sent me. I was taken aback by his decision and was very devastated. The moment I read the said sms, I felt numb (The sms was sent @ 1.40 am & I read it @ 5.40 am). I suddenly changed from a bubbly girl to a taciturn one. I forced myself not to tell anyone and to keep it to myself but I can't contain all the sadness in me. I cried during my Subuh prayer, in the car to lrt station, in the lrt to work & even in the office's toilet. I didn't know why I cried. Maybe because I was hoping for him too much. Sometimes, I felt confused with myself whether the feelings that I had for him is love or care. If it's love, i'm not sure but if it's care then i'm positive about it.. Deep inside my heart I know I care for him too much. That was why I cried... At first, I tried to conceal this from my sister but the thing is, I can't. I spilled everything to her, showed the sms & I burst out crying on her lap until I felt released. She was a very good consort to me. She gave me motivational words and asked me not to cry over a man like him.. She said maybe God has something else in store for me & he was not the right one for me..

Maybe my sister was right. Maybe God just wants to test me. Betulla lagu Siti tu "Tuhan menguji takkan berhenti"... I redha dengan apa yg terjadi. I learned something from this experience though. I will never fall easily for a guy anymore no matter how kind / charming he is. Tetiba I felt regret sebab broke my own vows dulu. Sometimes I wish I never knew him at all. My life was just fine before I met him. I'm a happy girl. I love to laugh and make my day an enjoyable one. Now, I feel so lonely. For the past 2 months, I was used to having his sms & e-mails everyday as well as his phone calls. Now things have changed drastically. He stopped sms-ing, e-mailing or even calling me. There were times when I thought that what he did to me was not fair. Yes it is true that he never declared me as his girlfriend verbally / in writing but from what I said earlier, I was hoping too much and because of that I was badly hurt when he just wanted to remain just as friends and not more than that with me...

Life must still go on.. Lucky my parents were there for me to support me through my hardest time ever since that incident. They gave me lotsa advices and help me to regain my life back. Thank god now I'm back to my normal me.. a bubbly, happy-go-lucky girl who likes to laugh and makes everybody happy. I tried not to remember him anymore. I always prayed to God so that God can help me get rid of his memories outta my mind. I hate having memories. Memories are hard for us to delete and if some are significant, probably they will remain in our mind forever... Aiseh..that is tough one! I must be strong and should not cry for him anymore. Right now, I must say I miss him soo much. However, I promised to myself I will try to erase him from my life. He is now a history and may God be with me always... Amiiin.

Surviving A Breaking Up Is Easy To Do: 5 Simple Rules

By Rich Santos, Marie Claire

A friend of a friend has called his ex-girlfriend six times since she broke up with him. I told my friend to bestow my breaking up advice on him. Whether you want someone back or not, if you follow the rules below, you will maintain your dignity, maybe win the person back, or eventually get over them:

1. Ride Off Into The Sunset

In college I took a class called "American Western Movies". Give me a break, ok? It was summer session. But this class did teach me something. I learned I wanted to be a cowboy. They are so cool, collected, never play their hand, never look rattled, and they are always confident.

One thing they all did was ride off as the sun set on the horizon after their business was done.

Riding off into the sunset keeps our dignity. When a girl breaks up with me, I will say:

"OK, it was great getting to know you over the past (insert length of time).You take care."

My business is done.

Then, I will figuratively ride off into the sunset. I won't tell her how much I miss her. I won't tell her she made a mistake. I won't call, email or text. I won't mention her to mutual friends. I'll be gone from her life.

Suddenly, it will dawn on the girl that she is not getting her money's worth for this breakup. It is true: people who do the breaking up have an air of power to them. They like being the decision maker, and having the control. But after I walk away like it's no problem, she'll start to think:

"Wow, why isn't he shaken up over this? Did he even care that I broke up with him?"

Or even better, the ever-popular and coveted:

"Did I do the right thing breaking up with him?"

That's when you know you're in business.

2. Apply the Wizard of Oz Effect

Of course, most likely, we are in total pain and anguish after a break up. But, we can't let that show. Remember:

"Pay no mind to that man behind the curtain?"

We can, behind the curtain, cry, complain, yell, be angry, and hurt. But, we must craft the appearance on the outside of being fine with everything. We need to look happy on the outside to the other person 100% of the time we see them post-breakup.

This also gives the illusion that you might be seeing someone else, or that you've got other things going on. Of course you're miserable and there's NOTHING going on in your life, but they don't have to know it!

Make It Quick?

3. Enact the Verb in "Breaking Up"

Get rid of all evidence of them -- put it all in a closet, under your bed, or anywhere. I'm a sucker for a strand of hair or her shampoo smell left on a pillow after a girl is over. After the breakup, this must go: wash the sheets! Remember, in breaking up, to think of it like a guillotine: make it fast.

On a guillotine, you'd rather have a sharp blade slice your head right off than a blunt blade repeatedly cut and cut until your head finally fell off.

If it's a break up they want, make it clean for them. It will look good, and it will be easier on you. Flush them right out of your life immediately, and completely.

4. Don't Look Back

It's hard to accomplish this. We know not to look back, just like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down...but we still look down. But, make it easy on yourself: looking back and saying stuff like:

"Gosh, just two weeks ago,we were out to dinner and she stayed over here and we were so close..."

...will just make it more painful. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over it.

5. Remember You'll Get Over It

The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you've truly gotten over someone. You're renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you'd never get over (you know you ended up getting over them), and as Jim Morrison once crooned: "break on through to the other side!"

Well I don't know about you, but after going through all that, I'm inspired to get dumped!

So, do you agree with these rules? Do you have any nightmare breakup stories? If a guy you dumped followed these rules, would you start reconsidering? Would you be annoyed if you dumped a guy and he didn't get upset?

The Dilemma

Hey u guys!!

I feel a bit confuse la with myself..to be specific, my own feelings..hah!!I know it sounds a bit cliche but to tell the truth I'm in a real dilemma here.. =(

Okay, let's start with my mother.

My mom is the type of woman who we can categorize as a bit choosy over her son-in-law. Of course she is because she only has 3 daughters maaaa!!hehe..My 2 sisters have already married and look at them now, blissfully married with the cutest lil tots in the world (amil, hani, aja, amnee and amnee's brother-on-the-way)..Life will be meaningless without them all.. I just lurrrrve my tots, i mean my nieces n nephews.hehe!! When I was still small and in my teenage years, I always thought that my mother is soo cool with her daughters' choices of husband. My eldest sister (Kak Long the beauty queen...hehe!!) was married to her beau, Abg Mie and my second sister (Kakak Ngok Ngek..hehe =)) was happily wedded to Abg Mat, her beau back then during university..As u see, both of them married the guy that they love... My parents both adore my brother-in-laws especially Abg Mat because they said Abg Mat knows how to respect the elders and that he's soo kind to everyone. I must admit that Abg Mat is super and uber nice guy because he cares for me too. Ever since I came to live with him and kakak in Subang Bestari, he treats me like I'm his own sister..He's very protective as well. Everything about Abg Mat is a total yes for my parents. On the other hand, my other brother-in-law, Abg Mie is nice too. He's not a fussy guy and quite generous in his personality but I don't know why my parents like to worship Abg Mat so much. I mean, he's not perfect.. He's a bad tempered either. Plus moody and he'll marah2 tak tentu pasal especially when he's under pressure.

However, when I reach the age suitable for marriage, my parents kinda harsh towards my choices of husband. If you guys wanna know, I only have 2 boyfriends ever since I started to have feelings for guys. hehe!! Funny rite.. I mean, I don't know how to flirt..I do friend with guys but I have my own principle that I will never date my friend especially my best friend..When I was in Form Five, I fell in love for the first time. My parents opposed the idea that I get involved in a love relationship during school days. Plus, that year was my SPM year. But, as you see, LOVE IS BLIND. I ignored my parents' advice and as a result, I failed to get straight As for my SPM, only managed to obtain 6As 5Bs.. My father was really disappointed with me that he didn't talk to me for a few days..He expected me to score straight As because I was considered a bright student back then (sorry, bukan nak perasan just nak bitau jek!!hehe ). In the mid of 2003, I broke up with the bloke that I dated during school. He was my first love and I loved him soo much. We were very much into each other and we even vowed to stay together until we were finally seated on the dais..Things didn't went well for both of us. Even though I love him so much, my mother doesn't like him because she labelled him as "Mamat Tali Pinggang Besi". The guy actually a 'busuk' type..my type but my mum doesn't approve him. She likes a clean and decent guy. Aiyo, where to find such a perfect guy?? My mum then asked me to dump him and so I did. I pitied that guy because he was soo devastated when I said that I wanna break up with him and he even cried! After the break up, I thought that I was never gonna get over him. It took me like 4 to 5 years to open my heart again until one day I found my second boyfriend by the name of Zaki. I fell head over heels for him. He was a Mr. Nice Guy. I also thought that I'm gonna end up marrying him. However, thins went sour between us because after that I found out that he cheated behind my back and the worst, he dumped me for the other girl.. My mum, as usual, feels so euphoric about me being dumped by Zaki because she doesn't even like him too..Reasons?? First, he was just a teacher and she said he doesn't suit me because I am in a higher position than him. Me being a lawyer and him being a teacher. Second, he was fat and not handsome my mum hates fat men. She even called him names like "BOCEH" (a name in Kelantan language that refers to a flabby man).. Apart from being dumped by that SUPER DUMBO BOCEH GUY, I realized that it will be soo hard for me to satisfy my mum's taste in choosing her youngest son-in-law. I feel fed up with my mum's attitude of rejecting everyone that I like and love. My father, on the other hand, is a universal one. He said that he'll accept anyone that I like and he'll only need to marry me off.. Awww...I love u Papa!!

After the break up, I was still thinking about the Dumbo guy. I just cannot get over it until I found another guy by the name of Andy. After a few months knowing him, I found myself falling in love with him. However, it doesn't went well either because this time around, my sister is the one who opposed to my relationship with the guy. Btw, I forgot to mention that Andy is her collegue at HLTMT. So, at last, me and Andy has decided that we will just stay as friends.

Now, I'm still a single babe who's life is soo miserable with her 9-5 job, mountain-high files that need her attention, her weight dilemma (I'm overweight if u wanna know but not that super duper heavy in weight), her uber fussy mum, her sister who watches wherever that she went and a pocketful of other stuff that may spin her head until it went of her.. Pity me kan??

As usual, my mum will be 'bising' if she heard that her friend's daughter will get married soon. She will be like:

"cepat la cari boyfren, anak **** tu dah nak kawen dah, or anak *** dah nak kawen, jee tak de boyfren lagi ke??"

Everytime I called her, she will keep asking me the same old question yang buat I dah fed up tahap gaban and tunggu masa jer nak burst out ni.. Huhuhuhu =(

Aiyoo...u guys sure think that my life soo tak best kan..When it comes to me jek, everything is difficult.. Dah jodoh x sampai lagi nak buat camne?? Takkan la I nak pegi bitau sume orang yang I ni single and in dire need of a boyfren?? Soo ridiculous. Sure orang akan will be like:

"Tak betul ke budak ni?? Muka waras tapi.... Anak sape la ni???"

Hehehe =)

Whatever it is, wherever the lucky guy is, I just dah tak kisah sangat pon.. I'm still young, free and euphoric. There is so much time lagi for me. I hope, when I found my Mr. Charming nanti, my mum will satisfied and she will stop controlling me of with whom I should be with.

So, guys, do help me pray okay..

Toodles..